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Back on my bullshit
Apr. 26th, 2020 12:03 am It starts out a morning like any other. The sun shines through the cracks in the roof, waking Toni up. She grumbles and buries her face in her pillow for a few minutes, but eventually she checks her pipboy for the time and concedes that it's probably time to get up. Once dressed, she ambles downstairs and nudges a still-snoring Butch with her foot.
"Rise and shine, pal."
He snorts in his sleep and turns over. Dogmeat, the only morning person in the house, is already awake and wants to help, and presses his wet nose against Butch's face. THAT awakens him with a start. Toni's gone to the kitchen to get herself some breakfast.
"Every night I go to bed in this damn heart-shaped bed." Butch says, still laying in it. "An' every morning I wake up and that fuckin sex lamp is staring me inna face. The fucklamp." It barely even counts as a witticism, but she can hear a short laugh from his direction. What a dork.
"And then I roll over and it turns out I woke up next to a damn dog." Dogmeat whines and slinks off the bed, head down. "No offense, buddy. But between you and a lady, I know who I'd rather sleep with."
Toni sticks her head out of the kitchen nook and makes a show of cupping her ear. "Such a tragedy. B-but wait. I think, I think I hear Agatha, playing the world's smallest violin, just for you!" Dogmeat trots over to her and she places a plate of Cram on floor for him.
Butch is unfazed by her mockery. "I know! Big bed like this, it oughtta fit more than one guy and a dog. How'd ya like to put it to use and wipe those smiles off the lamp?" He's bold this morning!
"Deloria, a-are you propositioning me?" Toni can hardly believe her ears.
"Why not? I'm hot, you're hot, let's do it." Butch turns onto his side, reclining like an odalisque in a classic painting. He beckons to her. The mood is somewhat spoiled by the sounds of Dogmeat loudly scarfing down his food, and also, Butch could not look any more ridiculous if he were waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
She laughs: "I'm not going to have sex with you in your bed just to show up an in-inanimate object."
He sighs theatrically. "You don't know what you're missing."
"I'll live."
"Rise and shine, pal."
He snorts in his sleep and turns over. Dogmeat, the only morning person in the house, is already awake and wants to help, and presses his wet nose against Butch's face. THAT awakens him with a start. Toni's gone to the kitchen to get herself some breakfast.
"Every night I go to bed in this damn heart-shaped bed." Butch says, still laying in it. "An' every morning I wake up and that fuckin sex lamp is staring me inna face. The fucklamp." It barely even counts as a witticism, but she can hear a short laugh from his direction. What a dork.
"And then I roll over and it turns out I woke up next to a damn dog." Dogmeat whines and slinks off the bed, head down. "No offense, buddy. But between you and a lady, I know who I'd rather sleep with."
Toni sticks her head out of the kitchen nook and makes a show of cupping her ear. "Such a tragedy. B-but wait. I think, I think I hear Agatha, playing the world's smallest violin, just for you!" Dogmeat trots over to her and she places a plate of Cram on floor for him.
Butch is unfazed by her mockery. "I know! Big bed like this, it oughtta fit more than one guy and a dog. How'd ya like to put it to use and wipe those smiles off the lamp?" He's bold this morning!
"Deloria, a-are you propositioning me?" Toni can hardly believe her ears.
"Why not? I'm hot, you're hot, let's do it." Butch turns onto his side, reclining like an odalisque in a classic painting. He beckons to her. The mood is somewhat spoiled by the sounds of Dogmeat loudly scarfing down his food, and also, Butch could not look any more ridiculous if he were waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
She laughs: "I'm not going to have sex with you in your bed just to show up an in-inanimate object."
He sighs theatrically. "You don't know what you're missing."
"I'll live."
